The idea of attending couples counseling is intimidating for most people. The mere mention of couples ‘working on their relationship’ may give you an uneasy sensation, a feeling that something is wrong, or that the relationship is struggling in some way.
In fact, attending counseling sessions before moving-in together or preparing to get married may seem like the last thing you and your partner want to do.
Before taking the relationship to the next level, couples are beset with many emotions. There is a sense of delight, the sheer joy that they have found one another and the relationship, and there is often a feeling of wonder. Couples may find themselves unsure of how they arrived at this point, feel apprehensive about whether or not their expectations are realistic, and also feel somewhat anxious about how things will change once they move-in together or get married.
Counseling for couples that are taking their relationship to the next level is usually short term (averaging 6 months), and allows the couple to not only gain some awareness of their relationship dynamics, but also an opportunity to alter things that they would like to change for future growth and happiness.
As your couples counselor, I will ask you to share your dynamic relationship history, explore each partner’s family-of-origin and their relational dynamics, and develop an understanding of each partner’s attachment style and how this works in their relationship. As you create the space in counseling to learn about one another and become aware of your relational patterns, you create a model for interacting with one another. This process paves the way for couples to view their relationship as a safe place for mutual security and comfort as they embark on the next phase of their lives together.
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